Winning Mealtime Battles
November is the beginning of the holiday season and start of many family meals and different foods your child may not have been exposed to. We share some tips to make mealtimes easier for everyone.
…and you find yourself saying:
“It’s not yucky, it’s yummy.”
“It’s healthy.”
”Just taste it or try one bite.”
”Ok, I’ll make you a third dinner choice” (even though you didn’t eat anything you’ve already asked for.)
Your Kids Say:
“I’m not going to eat that.”
”YUCKY”
”I don’t like broccoli.”
For many of us, mealtime is a battle, one often we as parents lose. Young children have very little control in their lives, and unfortunately, two aspects they can control is what goes in and what comes out (potty training is a whole separate battle). Feeding; however, doesn’t have to be a struggle.
In Feeding with Love and Good Sense by Ellyn Satter, the author reminds us that you are the parent, you decide when to eat, what to serve, and where to serve it, and the child decides whether and how much to eat. Meals and snacks should be scheduled and we shouldn’t allow “grazing” or eating small amounts here and there throughout the day. Grazing doesn’t help a child learn the healthy feelings of hunger and fullness.
Other suggestions to make mealtime better for everyone:
According to guidelines from the Institute of Medicine, after your baby’s first year, growth slows down by about 30%, and so may appetite. Infants need to eat about 35 to 50 calories per pound, while toddlers require roughly 35 to 40 calories per pound. Your child’s stomach may only be as big as your first. Start with scheduling times for your child to eat to experience hunger/fullness and provide appropriate portions.
If your child won’t eat, don’t push them. They may not be hungry, not be feeling well, have a sensitivity to the food or may not be eating for another reason and can’t verbalize it. “Forcing” your child to eat or even finish food on their plates may lead to negative food experiences. Have realistic expectations about introducing new foods. Not everyone likes the same things and we can’t expect our kids to like everything we think they should like.
Picky Eater vs. Problem Feeder: When to talk to your Doctor
Talk with your doctor if you have concerns about your child’s weight, growth or health. The suggestions above are for “picky eaters” not “problem feeders.” There are about 25% of typical developing children (up to 35% with neurodevelopmental disabilities) who have true feeding issues. According to Toomey & Associates (2015), a few signs of problem feeders include:
Eats less than 20 different foods
Usually refuses an entire category of foods
No longer eats foods they previously ate and not adding foods to their repertoire
Cries and “falls apart” when presented with new foods
Takes more than 25 “steps” or experiences to accept foods
Pediatric Interactions has therapists trained in many feeding approaches and often offers groups, as well as individual feeding therapy.